So I go to the dealer right after school, pick up the car, and within 4 miles the coolant is gone and the car is overheating. Awesome.

I know the source of the problem though, and it shouldn't be all that bad to get at. Actually deciding what to do to fix it, however...*sigh*

I think if I pour a gallon of coolant in, I can make it across town. That's sure an expensive budget.

Date:	2008-07-29 00:19
Subject:	3 days and counting
Security:	Public
Mood:	thoughtful

Sometimes there's a gap that you can't seem to bridge. It's not that you don't know it's there. You watch others bridge it right under your nose. You see it, you think about it, you try not to hate it. And nonetheless, it seems that perhaps you've only made a little progress at a time. I'm working on learning to try to forget those gaps—or rather to not worry over them as I can (and tend to) do. I think, I poke, I prod; all in my own mind, I try to sort things out. All the while, I get tripped up and wind up falling shorter and shorter of understanding.

This isn't something I particularly want to get into, it's just been floating around that brainpan of mine and it seemed prudent to get it down. Perhaps there's therapy in outlet.

Also, I don't want these things to be read as an overall unhappiness. I'm very content in where I am, who I choose to be around, how I spend (most of) my time, and the limits I set for myself to keep my focus where it should be. Everyone has their little things, some greater than others. This one's been mine for a time, and I'm working my way through it.

I love WyoTech, I don't find myself complaining (even inwardly) the way I watch so many others do. Sure, my car hasn't run in 2 1/2 months now. I think I'm learning through this to accept it as a gift and never take the things I have for granted. My own transportation (much less the amazing car I've been fortunate enough to have means to own) will be an amazing gift when I have it back again. I've got a job for the school teaching other students, getting to talk car and help others understanding the passion we all share here. Most days, it's a lazy job anyway. I take naps or watch movies, and I'm getting paid for that. I've been watching myself let far too much money out, and I'm working to limit that back down as the money comes back in.

Erika is an amazing blessing. Not everything is flawless every moment. But what is flawless is God's intent in gifting me with her; that I cannot ever doubt. I get such satisfaction, such contentment, such pure bliss out of just hearing her voice over the phone. She knows how to keep me smiling even when I get frustrated. She's beautiful, she's caring, she's never afraid to make things work. I love her so much for the strength she's shown me. Granted, the distance is hard, but I've never been able to feel this way when far from the one I love. 5 months have gone by in the blink of an eye (ignore the poetry and rhyme please, I'm not at all that brilliant :P) and it's incredible to realize it's never been a burden. Knowing that I have Erika, my angel, (and this I tell her all the time, I truly believe she is one) completes me. I haven't for a moment wondered if she loves me as much as I love her. God just said, "now's the time; I made this one for you." I thank Him for you, and I thank you sweetheart. You're my best half, don't ever forget it. No bumps in our path can ever unsettle the depth of our relationship.

Seems that I should get some sleep. Late nights like this are becoming a touch too common. Only 3 more days.

Date:	2008-07-24 17:52
Subject:	And the hours go by like minutes...
Security:	Public
Mood:	blank
Music:	The computers humming in the TRC

Just got out of Uncle's memorial service. It's tough to know that someone died so suddenly, someone so positive all the time.

It's awesome to see the support that people are giving Paul, Lynn, and the kids. The penny wars are making tons of money for them, and there were a good number of people today who chipped in $5 to buy a lay, which also permitted us to wear a Hawaiian shirt all day. The school is doing a lot to help out.

I shared a brief story when they opened up for people to do so. He'd been in my class in EMS 1 but went to Chassis the next phase. At the end of EMS 2, we were having a pizza party for some reason or other, and in the middle of it all, everyone talking away to the people around them, Uncle comes in the door. In that big Hawaiian voice of his, he said "Hey, everyone everyone...I have an announcement." Everyone got quiet, thinking it was something serious. He waited just long enough, and then just said "Hi!" That was Uncle Ron Benabise. Always in for jokes, for a positive attitude. I never saw him break himself down about failing a test or a comp, he'd just say "I get it next time." I've got to keep that attitude a little more. It was good having known you, Unc; I hope you're riding Jeeps and V-dubs around where you are. Aloha brudda.

Elsewise I've been trying to keep my head up. Dad came down last weekend, which was nice. Just felt a bit more at home again. And at the same time, I felt like I lost time to be keeping up with friends, with Erika. It wasn't just the weekend, it's been in general. I watch the bonds grow stronger between friends of mine who haven't ever met, and yet I can't keep in contact with any of them myself. Money's been flying out the door much more rapidly than it's been coming in. Time's going quickly...sometimes too quickly. I get caught up in my long days, try to cram things in the short nights, and never have time to fix my car, talk to people, just sit back and relax much. My grades haven't been as good this phase and it's not because I can't do it...it's because I'm not keeping up with things as well. I know I have time at work to look over things for class, do homework...but I don't. I'd rather pass out on the couch when there's no one here for tutoring. No time or money to get my car fixed. It's starting to look pretty hopeless. I need Erika here. It's good I only have to wait 8 more days.

Date:	2008-05-21 23:09
Subject:	Beauty is...
Security:	Public
Mood:	peaceful
Music:	Mogwai - Friend of the Night

Sitting next to the open windows, rain, lightning, and thunder outside, cool breeze coming in, no shirt, and listening to the greatest song in the world. Awesome moment.

Sometimes the thing you need to do is break yourself down. Tear down every wall you put up day-to-day. Cry. Destroy yourself. Sometimes it's right. Nothing makes sense about it, you can't explain it to anyone, but it might just make you feel more in touch with your life than you have been for weeks...months...years.

People die. The wrong people. The ones you need. I can put on any face about it I want, but the truth is it'll never be alright. Nothing will ever get me over it. I go ages without thinking of it, but I stumble across this song in my iPod late at night, and it crushes me.

"Don't try to fix me, I'm not broken / Hello, I'm the lie living for you so you can hide / Don't cry..."

Sorry for the depressing entry all, it's just eating me away. Bit by bit, it takes more of my constitution and I haven't found out what to do about it yet.

Date:	2008-01-16 02:11
Subject:	Finality, or lack thereof
Security:	Public
Mood:	frustrated
Music:	Hybrid - Theme from Wide Angle

I despise the fact that I have some inadvertent mental block about going to bed when I don't feel like I've done anything to cap off my day. It's not even about total accomplishments. In fact, I got a lot more done today than I have been for several weeks. Got up early, went and helped Mr. Beach put a front door on a house from about 9 to 5 (in the 27º or less weather, including the ridiculous snow that hit right after we took the old door out,) then headed up to church and practiced with the band I'm playing with for the bowling lock-in thing on Friday night. Then (here's probably where half my problem is) I decided I really wanted Caribou Coffee, so I drove to Gainesville and had some. Only problem is that by then it was 9:00 PM. Not a good choice to have caffeine by then.

Talked to Jason on the phone for over an hour which was nice. Geeked out on car stuff for a bit, talked about life. We've both been so busy lately that we haven't gotten around to that. It's good to just have a solid conversation with someone. Most people have been so busy with getting back to college that I haven't done much in the way of conversing.

And by then, at midnight, I should have definitely been ready for bed. Yet, I wasn't. I needed some other event–some thing to make me feel like I finished my day on a real event. Took a bath...now it's after 2. And yet, after being up for 18 hours, I don't feel ready to get in bed. It's like there's always something more I can do today, and I can't waste that opportunity by sleeping.

But when I wake up in the morning, I have the easiest time rolling back over to sleep more. Somehow I'm not wasting the day then. It doesn't make any sense.

I'm hoping a regular work schedule will make most of these things go away. I need a normal cycle. I need more of my friends in my life. I need something to focus my energy and time on that doesn't cost money. I guess until I've got that stuff, I'll be up late every night, thinking the same thing.

Got up pretty late today, some time around noon-thirty. Headed up to Sterling to pee in a cup for NTB. Long drive just to prove I don't do drugs. Hit up Checker's on the way home since I'm still celebrating my ability to eat any food I want again since the wisdom teeth came out. Upon arriving home I got to work on Hannah's stereo. It was nice to have all the interior panels (both door panels, door sills, center dash trim, both rear side panels, both compartment lids, and the whole gas tank tunnel cover) out; gave me the ability to get right to work. Though, I did feel a bit ghetto driving around with a nearly stripped interior, since my car isn't a weight-reduction stripper.

First task to overcome was figuring how to mount the JBL mids in the doors. Whoever put them in Rachel managed to break off all the mounting tabs on both and had them horrendously rigged in place, approximately held by pressure alone from what looked like drywall screws. Thankfully, there are 4 slots in the metal around the edge, between where the screw tabs used to be. I just opened the slots up a bit with the drill and finagled screws into each. Drilled 4 new holes in each door, put the wall anchors back in (that's my secret trick when you're working with metal doors too strong to screw right into,) ran the tweeter wires in the driver's door, re-wired the new wire I'd already run on that side straight into the quick disconnects, made a new poor-man's-speaker-baffle out of foam tape, and mounted the driver's door speaker up. By then, I was running out of daylight so I pulled her into the garage. Ran new wire for the passenger door (which sounds quite simple in words, but snaking the accordion grommet out, running the wiring through it, and snaking it all back into the hinge is time-consuming. By the time I finished that, it was about time to head over to Candi's house.

She was having a dinner party kind of thing since she's leaving for University of Hawaii again tomorrow. It was a bit awkward since I didn't know almost anyone, but I do pretty well slipping into crowds I don't know. Jess and Alyssa showed up which was nice, seeing as I love my Beach girls, we went and got Kendall, and then Candi's friend Paul came later, who I'd met before. Something about Candi just seemed a little stand-offish toward me, not sure why it felt that way but it did. I stayed longer than I'd planned since I was looking for a good time to leave when I could actually say bye to Candi. Finally told her I was leaving, she walked me out to the car and...well honestly I wanted to kiss her. No, of course I didn't because I still suck at being as assertive as I want sometimes. In the end, I'm confident it was better I didn't. I sent her a text after I got home admitting I wanted to kiss her, since it bothers me if I never say stuff. Waited hours, didn't get anything back. Sent another saying "Forget I said anything, enjoy Hawaii! :-D" and still no reply. Oh well.

Came back, soldered up the passenger's door, ran the tweeter wires, mounted the mid, and routed the other end of the wire behind the carpet in the foot well and up through the back of the dash. Labeled it and moved on. I ran the wire for the driver's side rear box next, along the top of the gas tank tunnel between the seats. Left the spool in the compartment behind the seat so it could feed indefinitely until I got the other end in the dash. Cut to length, soldered on the disconnects for the Xplod, and then used a scrap from the passenger's door wiring to T in and run up into the side panel for the stock speaker there. Cut the factory quick disconnect clip off and soldered that into my wire. I figure if I wind up not liking the sound imaging with those running and would rather just have the Xplods, I can just unplug them. Popped the box into place and moved to the other side.

Not much new on that side. It was actually easier both down the gas tank tunnel and over to the factory side panel speaker. Same procedure as before and both sides were finished all around with new wiring. Next up was sorting out a way to T into the clock wires for ACC (accessory switched power, allows you to power up the head unit only when the key is in either the ACC or ON positions), ILL (illumination, or dimmer—dims the display when the headlights are turned on), and +B (the constant 12V power line from the battery). There really wasn't much room to work at all. I pulled the clock harness out 3 different places trying to get the most length outside the dash to work with. Didn't do a lot. Still, I stripped back the stock insulation tubing a bit, clipped the 3 of 4 wires I needed (I ran a real ground bolted straight to one of the metal dash supports last time I was messing with this stuff, so I don't need the ground wire from the clock) and stripped them back. Soldered them right back together the way they were. Only difference is this left me with a nice exposed, tinned section of wire on each to wrap the new wires around. Twisted and soldered in 3 lengths of new wire (with a LOT of poking my fingers on sharp, soldered wire tips; diabetics, I feel your pain) and labeled each. Taped it all back up, plugged the clock in, and HEY! It actually still works. Might this bode well for the stereo? I don't dare speak too soon and jinx it.

Cleaned everything up and came back in, which brings us to now. Tomorrow's agenda, for the car, really only consists of figuring a way to get the harness to clip, wiring and soldering everything on the back of there (let's see, +B, ACC, ILL, GND, and all 4 speaker locations + and -; 12 wires in all) and then fire it up and hope it all works. Assuming it does, I reassemble all the interior panels and cross my fingers that I never have to touch the stereo wiring in that car again.

But now, I've gotta pass out. Last night I couldn't get to sleep until almost 5 AM. Hope I can beat that by at least an hour and a half tonight. If you actually read all that stuff about wiring the car, you're my hero. Night, all.

Date:	2008-01-04 00:07
Subject:	Ups, downs, ins, outs, etc.
Security:	Public
Mood:	bouncy
Music:	Monty Are I - Dublin Waltz

The caffeine from Caribou has clearly carried me through the fascinating evening I've had without getting terribly rattled by all the goings-on.

Went to take my application/driving record back up to Manassas Auto Parts. Manager told me their insurance company's really stringent and I've got too much on my driving record to work there. Haven't heard a word back from Best Buy, Auto Zone, or Advance Auto Parts. As of right now, I still appear to have zero prospects of getting a job soon.

Also, when I came back out from MAP, my car had that fun smell of "you let the smoke out of your electronics." The head unit I'd fought for weeks to work and had finally conquered was no longer working. Later when it got dark out, I noticed the clock wasn't working either. Upon arriving home, I opened the door to realize the dome lights and ignition ring weren't lighting up. However the cigarette lighter is still getting power, which winds up making mostly no sense. The fuse for the dome lights is blown, so that answer's those at least. Not sure what caused any of it though.

Then the internet went down when Dad tried to change some router settings. After at least an hour and a good time with my brother on the phone and Mom, Dad, and I within earshot (like family bonding time, despite the whole country between us) we got it all up and running again. In fact, a few things that didn't work before now work correctly.

At least I'm learning some things that piece together most of the puzzle as far as my electrical issues go by looking at lots of electrical diagrams in the Toyota BGB. Hope I can make sense out of all of it at some point.

Date:	2008-01-02 03:23
Subject:	But wait...there's more!
Security:	Public
Mood:	awake
Music:	August Burns Red - Composure

Oh yeah, and I'm pretty sure my right eye is getting better. Must've just been a scratch on me cornea. Yep, read that like a pirate.

Also, when it comes to stitches, "they dissolve" actually seems to mean "they flap around for a week and don't let go!" Lame.

Date:	2008-01-02 01:49
Subject:	Hmm
Security:	Public
Mood:	contemplative
Music:	(In my head) Paramore - Crushcrushcrush

That was really cute. Kinda wonder why it couldn't have happened sooner. Or that there was more...finality? to it. Maybe that's not the word I want. Resolution. I guess they're kinda the same. Something.

Le sigh.

Probably the only thing that Jimmy Eat World song (mirrored by the subject of my post) is good for is the uncanny parallel to right now.

Not sure if it's the Vicodin making me happy, or the dull pain in my face putting everything else in perspective (or both,) but I do feel somewhat better today. Might be because I know i have an excuse for at least a couple days' break to really not worry about things. Plan is to call the IATSE (stagehand) jobline tomorrow (as in Sunday) and let them know I'll be available all week. With any luck, I'll get a call back. I figure that's my best bet at hitting some kind of work whilst I continue my search for ongoing employment. DMV finally got my driving record here to take with my application back to Manassas Auto Parts. They've had a help wanted sign out front for what seems like (or quite possibly, has been) years. Maybe that'll be the ticket to doing something with my last 3ish months here.

Which, now that I type it out, I realize March isn't that far away. I've only got 2 1/2-3 months to gear up for entirely moving to another, completely different, part of the country. Life's gonna change. I'm pretty excited.

Best thing to do for my face and sleep schedule is try to pass out at this point. Hopefully I'm met with some measure of success. G'night all.

Date:	2007-12-28 03:42
Subject:	Everything that's been getting to me
Security:	Public
Mood:	lonely
Music:	Obadiah Parker - Hey Ya!

It may sound silly, or cliché, or played-out, but I think the biggest source of frustration in my life right now is being single. I've been gifted with a huge love for others and my greatest fulfillment is doing things for them–making people happy. And the one way I do that to its fullest is in a relationship. I realize in retrospect that I forced my last relationship, and it wasn't the right situation. Maybe it's good that I haven't even had the chance at one for a good, long while, because I might be prone to the same trap. It wasn't that I didn't care for Julie, I did very much as I do in any relationship I put myself in. The issue was that we just were not right for each other in a relationship, and that's something that can't be changed, it's just incompatibility in the end.

And I find myself on facebook, leafing through pictures of girls I used to like. Even ones I didn't know well, just thought they were cute. I get in a silly rut of envy that most have significant others, or at least attraction-factors. I get the "I'd be better for them" mentality with no grounds to prove I would. But I'm looking for an outlet. In all reality, I'm at a point in my life where I'm looking for the woman I want to marry. At the end of the day, my friends are amazing, I love them to death, but there's a source of comfort in a one-on-one relationship with a girlfriend, other-half, whatever term may fit. There's a sense of solid ground; that when everything else is bothering you, falling apart, fighting your purpose, there's someone–one perfect person–to love, share that difficulty with, and work through it with.

And where is she? That's not said in a sense of complaint, or rather that the world owes it to me to put her in my path right now. I can't ever claim that. But it's more my lack of confidence that it'll be easy to find her. It feels more like I've been through most of the life-stages that produce the most long-lasting relationships. A few people are fortunate enough to find that in high school–I didn't. A lot of people find that in college–my 2 years didn't find it for me either. It's almost worse that for most of those times, I did in fact have either a relationship, or prospects of one. I wasn't a ladies' man by any stretch, but I did have more shots at dating than many people. The flip side is that when I wind up in a place where now, most of the people around me are finding others, I'm alone. Not just alone, but not even seeing chances or opportunities, not meeting new girls, not going out with friends to meet a friend of a friend. The last 3 or 4 girls I've invested some serious thought and effort into creating a relationship with are either in other relationships currently, not interested, or I've lost almost all communication with (now that I think about it, that might be all of them.) Is Wyoming going to be the place? Is she out there, going to UoW or WyoTech right now or gearing up to do the same? Or must I wait? I'm not even one who really finds contentment in being single. I have the love and care to give, and nowhere to direct it.

The biggest hit was probably yesterday when I found out that a good friend of mine is engaged. And I'll be honest, there was a time I was pretty seriously interested in her. She's been dating her fiancée (it's still odd to say that) since before I met her, so it isn't like there was ever a chance there. But I can't help but have it come as some blow to me that there never will be a chance. I can't even be as happy as I should for her when I know she loves him to death and they seem the best match for one another. It may be more in the timing than anything, but it's hit me and I can't change it right now.

In other news, I'm unemployed, my parents are riding my back about it (and I can't say that I blame them really, but I'm having a hard time finding a job,) my wisdom teeth come out, oh, 7 hours from now and I can't sleep. My right eye has been fuzzy for maybe 3 weeks now (that I've noticed profoundly) and I can't ever seem to find a time where I feel like I can go to the ophthalmologist about it. My fingers are still crossed that it's just a corneal abrasion, seeing (no pun intended) as I can recall a time not long ago where it wasn't like this at all. I don't get how, if it were astigmatism, it could come on so suddenly. The worst part is that my left eye is still flawless, so my brain is stuck in this weird place of merging a perfectly focused image with one out-of-focus. Makes everything seem right, and yet glowing and wrong at the same time. It's frustrating at night while I'm driving because I'm getting unsure of what I see in the distance.

Quite a bit of it is timing and how this all falls in a span where my friends are in school, I'm missing that environment, I have nothing to fill my days and pass the time, I want a job but can't seem to find one which causes tension between my parents and I, and I want to be off at WyoTech already but I have 3 more months. Motivation is scarce and quite difficult to come by. It's annoying to even realize that I only post in my LJ when I'm fed up and frustrated anymore. I'm really an optimistic person, and it isn't like I have real depression over this, where I can't find anything good in my days. Yet it does seem to mount up. I keep the hope up every day that something will go forward in one arena or another, but right now it's one step forward and two steps back. I'm not trying to be the useless 20-year-old that freeloads from Mom and Dad with no prospects, but it's how it's going. All I'm really asking right now is a job. A girlfriend would just make a stunning bonus.

I've gotta get some sleep. Less than 5 1/2 hours before I have to get up.

Date:	2007-12-13 15:11
Subject:	On the road
Security:	Public
Mood:	contemplative
Music:	Jimmy Eat World - Let it Happen

Back seat of Mom's CR-V, on 81 South heading to North Carolina to visit my grandparents. 8 hour trips get a bit tedious, so thankfully the lappy's here to occupy my brain. Should be a nice break away from home for the next 5 days. Hopefully the weather lightens up a bit though, it's been raining for about the last 30 miles or so. Sky's been grey at home for weeks, so maybe NC will be a touch nicer in that department.

Other good news about the trip is I woke up one day last week and, as I put on my August Burns Red shirt, I thought "maybe I should check the band's website and see if they're playing near here anytime soon. Turns out they have no tour dates anywhere near home, but they are playing in Asheville, NC this Sunday, the same town where my grandparents live. Convenient timing, no? Bought me a ticket. Perhaps this time I'll catch Matt, their drummer, and get him to sign my ABR shirt, as he's the only one who didn't last time. Should be a rockin' show; they're opening for Between the Buried and Me, as they were last time I saw them, along with a post-mathcore, for lack of a better description, group called Behold...the Arctopus. Checked them out on MySpace. One guitarist, one drummer, and one guy on the Warr Guitar, a crazy 12-string bass/guitar beast that makes for some crazy music. I expect a fun time.

Elsewise, life's been about like the weather. Just going along trying to keep my head up for the in-between, from now until March when I head out to Wyoming for tech school. Gotta find another job to fill the days (and get some income; every dollar that goes out without another coming in bothers me.) Might have to start calling the IATSE Jobline again and hoping I hit some stagehand work. Pays well, but it's not consistent. Then again, it might be all I can get; at least it's a fallback. Wisdom teeth come out the 28th, so I'll be all chipmunk-y for New Year's, barring some strange lack of typical swelling, which does occur (it's just rare.) More updates will come along as life progresses.

…how hard it is to make myself see you any other way. Not sure what makes it so difficult, just happens. That grain of salt I need is eluding me.

And honestly? I think it's pretty damn funny.

I was just telling my dad last night that I really didn't like my job at Piedmont that much, but that I was doing it because I felt I should. Also told him I was kind of disappointed that my day off was entirely gone since I had to help him out at his office (which I didn't entirely mind, it just took time.)

So today I go into work and Kevin, one of the managers, pulls me aside. Tells me that ever since the Jiffy Lube opened next door, they've been getting less and less business and they were gonna have to let a couple people go. Clearly I was one of those people.

I asked: "How long do you think I have?"
"Did you clock in already?"
"Yes."
"Why don't you go ahead and clock out."

XD I think it's about the silliest way of laying someone off I've ever encountered. Time to find another job, I s'pose.

Date:	2007-11-15 22:58
Subject:	Daily life
Security:	Public
Mood:	tired
Music:	Groove Armada - Suntoucher

Just a bland update of daily life. Felt like posting and had no better point really.

Today was mostly normal at work. Thankfully John, my GM, wasn't there today, so I was able to do Patrick's dad's tires for him. Patrick gave me their old Alpine head unit, mostly on the premise that I'd do him a favor and hook him up with tires for his car when he needed them. Turned out his dad needed them first, so I bought them at cost through Piedmont, paid in cash, and mounted them for free. Wound up saving him a bunch of money.

The LEDs were supposed to show up today for me to redo my friend John's gauge lighting in his '91 MR2 like I did mine (only he's going with a red instrument cluster and a blue ignition ring.) Sadly he hasn't got a cell, and I'd already told him to go ahead and leave for my house since I was sure they'd be here. Dad called about 5 minutes later to tell me they weren't here, and I couldn't get John on his house phone. So he showed up with his friend Kevin (who has a '90 Mk III Supra) and we talked for a bit. Should be redoing his lights tomorrow after work, and Kevin's gonna tag along to see how it's done.

After that, all 3 of us are heading out to a car meet in Fairfax, organized by some guys on the Supra forums. They've had turnouts in the hundreds before, so hopefully the turnout will be pretty good and I'll get to meet some cool guys from around here. If it works out, my other friend James (who also has a '91 MR2 like John and I) might come too, so we'll park all 3 SW20s in a row.

Payday's tomorrow, if John (my manager) does his job. It'll be nice to get money back in the bank after that insurance payment went out last week. Car meet's really what I'm working toward. The 8-6 workday won't be all that fun though. Oh well, that's the working world for you. Guess I'd better turn in for the night if I want a reasonable amount of sleep to happen.

Knock on wood, that may be the easiest DMV experience I'll ever have. In and out in 22 minutes.

After almost 2 months sitting, Hannah's registered, tagged, and ready to drive.

Date:	2007-11-12 15:24
Subject:	Boredom leads to typing
Security:	Public
Mood:	calm
Music:	Mogwai - Friend of the Night

So I've just placed this song on repeat, and seeing as it's the second best song in the world, and possibly my favorite song of all time, I dunno how long I'll be listening to it for...or how long I'll be typing.

In the prep-work process of readying Hannah for the road, I've been doing quite a bit of work on her. But it seems, as with most things in life, that right when you sail through a bunch of stuff without vast complication or hitting a wall of some kind, you're bound to get that big kick at the end. That came today. I found out that if you're (un)lucky enough to have a '91 MR2 with Premium Sound, there's no easy after-market solution for wiring up a new head unit; it takes a fascinating bit of making your own to manage it. The amazing thing is it happens to be only this model year, and only that sound system. Guess I'm just gifted like that. Of course, I also never had the code for the radio/CD player that came with it, so I can't even plug that back in. Guess I'm without a stereo in either car for a while.

On the up-side, I made my first 6-month insurance payment on her ($707, why am I a single male aged 18-25?) through Progressive. My plan was to go to the DMV today and get the registration and plates so I could have her on the road tomorrow. Of course, it's Veteran's Day weekend, so the DMV's closed today. Hopefully I'll drag myself out of bed early enough tomorrow morning to go before work. Other high note is that I successfully redid the instrument cluster lighting and the ignition ring light in amber, so they mostly match the body color. Looks pretty hot. ( Cut to here if you'd like to be burdened with pics. )

Today's just one of those days that gets you apathetic. I'm not much in the mood to do anything. It's grey outside, everything is wet from the fall rain we've been getting, and right now I'm in the house alone. I've been fighting to get the MR2 on the road, putting off repairs, so on, and now I feel like my life is a monetary hole and I can't really afford to do anything I want to be doing. As for work...I have no motivation to go to work. What makes me get up each day and go is a sense of obligation, not motivation. I'm quite loyal, through no fault of my own, to any business I work for or any professional relationship I have. I can't help but feel like it's such a tenuous relationship. It's so false. At least where I'm working now that's the case. The only job security I have in my position is my ability to show up on time and do what needs to be done. If I blow that, they haven't got any issue with firing me and picking up someone else for the job. And honestly, I'm not sure I'm getting more money working at Piedmont than I was at NTB. I think I'm, surprisingly, making less. Some of it is 3 hours less work a week, some is taxes (which I feel like they have wrong at Piedmont, but then I looked over a VA W-4 and I don't have any state exemptions; maybe it's a Federal tax issue.) I realize I'll get it back in April if I've overpaid, but it's not always useful to wait that long. Maybe I made more in commissions than I thought at NTB. The trade-off is that I'm paying less out for gas and time since I don't have to sit in traffic. I guess I felt like the managers were better, and everyone was more connected in friendship than just working relationships. I don't do well with the falsehood.

My room's a bit of a wreck, but I have no intention to clean it really. Just don't feel like doing much today. I guess I should enjoy the fact that I have a day off from work, and don't really have to do anything. I'm still debating the idea of driving down to JMU tonight to see Fireflight play, but I feel like it's not worth the cost.

Just looked into this wiring business a bit more. I'm going to run out and hope I can find the stuff I need.

Date:	2007-10-26 00:58
Subject:	And another day goes by, as they kind of do.
Security:	Public
Mood:	tired
Music:	Dark Tranquillity - The Treason Wall

Briefly: Had a weird crazy dream last night, remembered more than i might otherwise have since Jason called and woke me up to tell me about the dream he had, making me think about the one I'd just had.

Uniform guy didn't bring me uniforms at work. Looks like I've gotta go through another week of trashing my own clothes and the one XL company shirt they gave me before I have something to wear at work that I can not worry about and look like I belong there in.

Rained a lot, again. At least it's cooling down and acting a bit like fall now that it's late October. Crazy.

Most exciting event of the day: Correct front motor torque mount inserts came today! So, of course, I had to put them in today. Pics here.

Date:	2007-10-22 10:19
Subject:	A good day, followed by a silly morning
Security:	Public
Mood:	amused
Music:	Panic! At the Disco - But It's Better if You Do

First, this picture should say everything about yesterday.


Skins won, 21-19 over the Cardinals. I've now been to 2 Redskins games in my life, both of which they've won. Seems like good luck to me.

This morning I got up, left for work, got food, ate fast, clocked in, and went to ask John to write up a schedule for me. About 5 minutes later he calls me up front and informs me that Mondays will be my day off so I can go home if I want. I was on the clock for 9 minutes. Awesome.